Pound of Flesh

beets“Wow, you’ve chosen all organic produce. What a great way to treat your body!” shares the new cashier, at Urban Fare grocery, as I check out.

As I graciously accept her acknowledgment I hear the voice of my teacher, mentor and friend Debbie Ford reminds me, “That thing you can never be with, will never let you be.”

Just moments before checking out I battled with a part of myself that claims my unworthiness when it comes to eating well. The whisper was clear, “The organic beet is too expensive, just buy the conventional s@#t.” I know this way of being, I call it “my familiar.” 

It’s that place, feeling, memory, action, way of being or thought that I can so easily slip back into that absolutely does not serve my highest consciousness. It’s so familiar, that sometimes I don’t even realize I’ve embraced it… again.

Yet there’s another part of me that knows “my familiar” is a powerful servant, if only to act as a wake up call to being unconsciousness.

It’s quite humbling.

Arrogantly I think I’ve got it all figured out and then I can presence a part of me that simply wants to sabotage my life or in this case have me eat genetically modified or conventional, pesticide filled food.

I’m learning how to make room for this part of me to show up. Giving this shadow part of me some space.

By welcoming it or simply noticing its presence, without making it bad or wrong, my gift is feeling more open, peaceful and free. For a moment I get to have this part of me and it no longer has me. I don’t act out as the saboteur in my life.

It was freeing to be able to tell this stranger, as she asked if $6.74 was too much for three organic beets, that I am so worth it!

By making room for the cheap, non-organic, GMO eating, conventional foodie that I can be, I allowed light to shine on these hidden parts of my personality, and allow them to be expressed, instead of pretending they are not a part of who I am.

I never thought produce shopping could be so freeing.

My cheap self saves me money. My greedy self gives me personal time. My lazy self teaches me to take a break. My racist self shows me compassion. They are all an expression of who I am and their gifts are profound.

My shadows, all of them, want to be heard. When I don’t listen to them, my life turns nasty. Demons demand their pound of flesh or in my case their pound of conventional beets.


About Thomas Kevin Dolan Coaching

Thomas Kevin Dolan, Master Integrative Coach Professional™ has, for close to a decade, coached or advised everyday folks who need a gentle reminder to get out of their own way. People – such as athletes, high-profile executives, parents, siblings, couples, artists, activists, those pretending to know, those willing to not know, entrepreneurs, and seekers of ease, effortlessness and grace – who wish to effectively and successfully participate in a healthy relationship with themselves, and with others they value. Thomas and his work has been featured on HealingPodTV, Yinstill Reproductive Wellness, and The Ford Institute for Transformational Training. He has also been featured in major publications such as Xtra West, Business In Vancouver, Living Out Vancouver and Out In Singapore. He resides in Vancouver, British Columbia and Honolulu, Hawaii. Magic exists in his life because he knows that which he seeks is already seeking him, and he allows wisdom to have its way.
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1 Response to Pound of Flesh

  1. Coach Cate says:

    Love and appreciate you for your willingness to share all of you who are, Thomas. Enjoy that nourishing organic food! You gift not only yourself, but support sustainable agriculture and so much more. Go figure!? xoxo

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